Saturday, September 5, 2009
Angie's new hair cut inspired this post. It's been a long time coming but life has been CRAZY this summer. I would post every week if I wasn't working - yeah right. I will not lie. I refuse to become a slave to this blog - I am obsessive enough about the rest of my life. Believe it or not, it takes self discipline to not jump on the computer every time I have a thought to share. Balance is hard to achieve for us "A" personalities..
Have any of you seen the latest General Motors commercial called "Reinvention"? I invite you to watch it on "You Tube" if you haven't seen it(I would link it but can't figure it out). It basically sets forth how times have changed and the car industry isn't what it used to be. The commercial then shows how the world has evolved and how we have modified our expectations and expect different things now from our products and our nation. WOW - who would a thunk that a car ad for a nearly bankrupt company would help me transform my life? When I trace back to what started me on this journey to making things happen instead of letting things happen - I attribute it to General Motors. Thank you GM - I needed a good swift kick in the reinvention butt...
Times have changed. I have changed. My family has changed. Our circumstances have changed. Some for the better, some for the "What the heck, are you kidding me right now!" Did I ever think at this stage in our life, in our marriage, that we would be bankrupt - emotionally and pretty much physically? Could I have foreseen this future for myself and my family? No way. I tend to look on the bright side of things - especially for the future.
I never saw it coming. Sound familiar? We all want a crystal ball to see where we will be in five years. We think that it will be wonderful and that the knowledge of that will get us through the hard times. I am alone here? How grateful I am that I didn't have that crystal ball five years ago - it may have scared me so much - I would have just up and left town. Or worse, gone postal on unsuspecting bystanders... Life railroads all of us in different ways. I feel it's a shared experience we all have in common. There are great times with cherished memories and those memories are only precious because we have strained and hard times to compare them too. There is opposition in all things and that is the only way to appreciate the good things in our lives. It's what helps us make sense of it all.
Reinvention... It's been my jump start to making sense of it all. Time to transform my actions into what I want to happen. My brother calls it "putting it all out to the universe, giving up the fight and letting it take over and run things for a change."
My vision board now includes the minivan we will need for Finn's future wheel chair. Did I ever think I would need a wheelchair for my little girl? No - but now I know it will be the most sparkly pink and gaudy chair you have ever seen!(Hey, maybe I'll start a tend!) Did I ever see myself in a minivan - absolutely not, but I'll also be needing it to run Angie & her water polo teammates out for ice cream.
It occurred to me that Finn's condition or her 'special needs' are just temporary. They aren't eternal in nature. They are temporal. Life on earth is just a blip on the eternal radar. Perspective makes all the difference. She has the sweetest spirit imaginable and it just oozes out of her yummyness! To know her is to adore her, what a blessing she is. The lessons that we, as a family, continually learn from her sharing our home out number the stresses that we face each day. God is so good and He loves us so much.
The challenge then, is turning lemons into lemonade without a thought as to how I'm going to afford those lemons. Attitude is everything during the trial. Also remembering that someone else has it much worse helps keep things in perspective. Looking for ways to help others also keeps us afloat.
I am finishing today's entry in Florida, where I am attending my HypnoBirthing certification. What a blessing it is to be here among these amazing women. They are such good people, with giving hearts. I am learning so much from them and their experiences. They are aiding me in my reinvention with their kind hearts. It's so import ant to have a kind heart. I am so grateful for this chance to better myself and help other women when I get home. Birth has come to be such a sacred process for me. I am sure it has to do with the miscarriage losses that we have suffered in the past as well as the wonderful birth of Finnley.
Birth also represents a reinvention of sorts. It's fresh and new and something we should learn from and appreciate. To reinvent ourselves is a great "do-over" that we are blessed with. I have evolved over these past 18 months and now I am modifying my expectations and goals to fit the needs of my family. That crystal ball could have never predicted the knowledge and blessings I have gained from the heartaches. I wouldn't trade them for anything...get some reinvention and see how far you can go.